The one wedding book I would recommend to plan your wedding with ease is The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Now I know this is not a typical wedding book, but I promise it will change your wedding planning experience and life. The best part? This Book is under 150 pages; that’s right, The Gifts of Imperfection is 137 pages of straight FIRE. If you’re a wannabe reader like me, this is music to your ears!
In The Gift of Imperfection, there are ten guideposts/principles. In the next two posts, we will go over each principle and apply it to wed planning. I highly encourage you to read the book because we will barely scratch the surface of this book.
Principle #1: Cultivating Authenticity- Letting Go of What People Think
Once you get engaged, everyone will have opinions and loving suggestions for your wedding. It’s essential to remain true to yourself and your love story, even if it means going against the wishes of your loved ones.
From the Book: “Authenticity demands wholehearted living and loving even when it’s hard, even when we’re wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we’re afraid to let ourselves feel it.”- Brene Brown
Principle #2: Cultivating Self-Compassion- Letting Go of Perfectionism
Wedding Planning is a lot of moving, and things will go wrong (read: things will go wrong). The quicker you can let go of perfection, the more enjoyable wedding planning will be. As my southern pops say, things may go wrong so they can end up better.
Can we talk about the COVID in the room for a second? No one saw that coming, and I know it feels like your dream wedding is getting taken away from you; that feeling is valid!. Have compassion with yourself and grieve that loss. You can be grateful and upset at the same damn time!
From the Book: “Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about the perception we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable; there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying.”- Brene Brown.
Principle #3: Cultivating a Resilient Spirit- Letting Go of Numbing and Powerless
As mentioned above, things will go wrong on the road to “I do.” Those things can be small or big, hello COVID. You have to adjust your sail and remain hopeful and optimistic that you will still have the wedding of your dreams even when the plan changes.
From the Book: “Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but the hope is a thought process made up of what Synder calls a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency.” – Brene Brown.
Principle #4: Cultivating Gratitude and Joy- Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark
With Pinterest and Instagram, it’s easy to get stuck in comparison and think, “my wedding isn’t enough.” This thinking builds scarcity and causes you to lose sight of your “why.” Find joy in every moment of the planning process, and always remember your why. Building a solid foundation is the goal.
From the Book: “If we’re not practicing gratitude and allowing ourselves to know joy, we are missing out on the two things that will sustain us during the inevitable hard times.”- Brene Brown
Principle #5: Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith- Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
Wedding Planning can feel like the wild west. It’s essential to trust your gut while building a team of professionals that align with your values and see your vision. When making decisions, trust your gut, lean on your partner and team before polling friends and family.
From the Book: “When you start polling people, it’s often because we don’t trust our knowing.”- Brene Brown
Now, do you see what I’m talking about straight GOLD? It’s all things we know, but sometimes we need a friendly reminder. I hope you had a few aha moments while reading this note. If you did, please be sure to leave your aha moments in the comments below. If you’re interested in buying the book, I encourage you to shop small. I’ve included a link to my favorite book store for you. (not an affiliate link or Sponsored)
You’re doing a great job. Cheers!